She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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