Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
