he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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