i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
