I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
