Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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