why didn't you poke me back
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
