I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
