i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
