is your mom at the bar?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
