I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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