There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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