I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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