He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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