Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
