Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
