Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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