They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
