Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
