I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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