Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
