Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
