Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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