i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
