You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
