i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
