you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
