Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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