did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
