(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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