I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What a dumb baby whore.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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