Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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