Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
