I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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