dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
