I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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