I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
