YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
