Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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