Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
