Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
