Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
