i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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