I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
