I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
