Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
