you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
