I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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