im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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