Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
